They mean CHILLED BEER .....
and let this not happen with you on a week end !!!
Showing posts with label confusion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confusion. Show all posts
Mar 12, 2010
Nov 5, 2009
Eye Test !!!
EYE TEST
Look at the picture .........................
Have you noticed the girl in the background?
Noticed her bum? Well look at the picture carefully...if your answer is YES then go and see an OPTOMETRIST!!!
What you see is the shoulder of the girl taking the picture!!!
Oct 1, 2009
Tennis elbow !
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Manmohan says to Lal behind him, "my elbow hurts terribly. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Lal replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the corner drugstore. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten rupees... a heck of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Manmohan collects urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten rupees and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into a funnel and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Manmohan began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, scraped some oil off the driveway and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. He hurried back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten rupees , pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her in to rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. Your Volvo needs repair.
6. And if you don't stop playing your thing with your hands, your elbow will never get better.
Have a confused week end people !!!
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Lal replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the corner drugstore. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten rupees... a heck of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Manmohan collects urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten rupees and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into a funnel and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Manmohan began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, scraped some oil off the driveway and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. He hurried back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten rupees , pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her in to rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. Your Volvo needs repair.
6. And if you don't stop playing your thing with your hands, your elbow will never get better.
Have a confused week end people !!!
Aug 27, 2008
The Good Neighbour!!!
I was lying in my easy chair and having beer when I noticed my dog dragging something under the fence. Upon inspection, to my dismay, I realized it was the next door neighbor's 10 year old daughter's rabbit.
For years I had watched her come home from school and head straight out to its cage, free it and play with it in the yard. I knew today would be no different and fearing for our dog, I had to think fast.
The rabbit was quite dirty, as if it had put up quite a struggle, so I washed it off with the hose, combed it with the Dog brush and blew it dry with the leaf blower. Upon finishing it's grooming I jumped the fence and replaced back in it's cage hoping it's death would be written off as "natural causes".
Back to the easy chair and beer..Within the hour the neighbors car pulled in as usual and out popped the little girl, and as usual she headed straight for the cage. Only this time she stopped about six feet away and screamed: "DDDDDAAAADDDDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Her father panic stricken stood looking at the cage. Being the good neighbor that I am I rushed to fence and asked if there was anything I could do.
Her father less than calmly blurted, "What kind of sick individual would dig up a little girl's dead rabbit and put it back in it's cage?!?!"
For years I had watched her come home from school and head straight out to its cage, free it and play with it in the yard. I knew today would be no different and fearing for our dog, I had to think fast.
The rabbit was quite dirty, as if it had put up quite a struggle, so I washed it off with the hose, combed it with the Dog brush and blew it dry with the leaf blower. Upon finishing it's grooming I jumped the fence and replaced back in it's cage hoping it's death would be written off as "natural causes".
Back to the easy chair and beer..Within the hour the neighbors car pulled in as usual and out popped the little girl, and as usual she headed straight for the cage. Only this time she stopped about six feet away and screamed: "DDDDDAAAADDDDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Her father panic stricken stood looking at the cage. Being the good neighbor that I am I rushed to fence and asked if there was anything I could do.
Her father less than calmly blurted, "What kind of sick individual would dig up a little girl's dead rabbit and put it back in it's cage?!?!"
Aug 3, 2007
todays job seeker !!!
After having taught in some
Indian B Schools, and have seen and helped out in campus placements, I am confused as to what is the student actually expecting...? the MTV genertaion kid is really pampered and spoilt.. or is it thatI cant see it...?
Jul 19, 2007
and still !!!!!
Men:
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their Luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the women leave them.
7. Although the women leave them they still don't learn from their Mistakes and still try their luck with others.
Women:
1. the most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive Clothes.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "An old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their Luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the women leave them.
7. Although the women leave them they still don't learn from their Mistakes and still try their luck with others.
Women:
1. the most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive Clothes.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "An old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
