Oct 17, 2008

Mere Paas Maa hain !

The Indian cinema is bigger than Hollywood and in spite of being a poor (developing we claim though!) nation, our cinema thrived and excelled to be where it is today (be it Bollywood, Kollywood or Mollywood). I have been astonished by its sheer magic and the spell with which it transmits energy to the otherwise lifeless throngs for whom life is mundane and so very predictable. A typical cinema house is a refuge for the mass where they throw away garbs and wear their real self.....

As a child I used to wonder when the news reel began and so did the mob howls, marvel why some people went out little knowing that, for them it was gap to take a smoke. I didn’t know why some felt pity at Gandhi who was been shown up there. The one old man who could neither sing nor dance with the over made heroine nor could fight with the over acting villains, was simply intolerable for them.....

The film was routine and in every one film the poor hero fell in love with the rich heroine. Ecstatic songs, dance, jokes and all the ingredients were carefully added in the making of the dish. The unfortunate hero in a car followed the heroine from Kashmir to Hong Kong and from Tokyo to Amsterdam…. Scary eyes and the ever in fumes cigar made the villain and he had a moustache which was curled up like a used bed and he laughed and fumed in regular intervals for no particular reason.....

The expected misunderstanding, regular sadness, volumes of tears and one tight slap that the hero pasted on the heroines rosy cheek while the audience was awed and while the women went poignant .The hero turning repentant and cutting his hands with a blade and the heroine near the window singing classical songs in melancholy and the lord Krishna statue throwing a rose into her head. The Villain who keeps eating cigar after cigar at some secretive bar where lights in all colours and hues kept flashing and voluptuous women danced in gold and silver half towels and funny looking apparels....

Some one will kill some one and the murder will be cast on (well no prizes for guessing) the hapless hero, and courts and the arguments… long shots… “Order order” the onscreen judges keep parroting but the film will go on in no particular order. Hero will meet the villain and will fight like kids do in every street and gali, from heaven to sea and from land to nowhere and the pitiable police coming in to climax the organized confusion with the megaphone and announcing “Pulis ne tumhe charon taraf se gher liya hain - apne aap ko kannon ke haawale kar do”… Agony ends and the duo in the car again, the songs again....

Some dialogues linger on like the Aur tera kya hoga kalia and Mere paas maa hain just to give a sample....

The mob keeps singing pyar pyar pyar or kathal kathal as they come out joyful and contended…

It do not touch anyone and do not even left a single scratch..

No pains. No excitement which left a hangover!!!…

A brief vacation from the hassles of life and a bridge to the struggles that is waiting with tomorrow.

The biggest service perhaps Indian cinema renders would be that it keeps the mass in its enchantment if otherwise would have found gratification in more treacherous preoccupations..

And that was an uphill task to be done…..!!

Oct 14, 2008

The BOSS !!!


A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present. The next day he went to the pet shop and saw three identical parrots in a cage. He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

The owner said it was Rs. 2500. "Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do?
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk. "He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."

The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,
but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot. The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000." Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.

The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything. But the other two call him "BOSS"!!