Oct 25, 2008

Masala dosa Research !!

There are many ways to eat a masala dosa .What ever the way one eats; there is a very good reason for doing that. It shows some hidden character traits of the person....

Case 1: People who open the masala dosa and eat it: These are the people who are very open about their life. Everyone one the persons friends would know all about him/her. I have generally seen guys do this rather than girls. Some people think that it is a gross way of eating but in truth, these people are just portraying who they are and how their life is.

Case 2: People who start from both end and approach the masala later: These are the people who like to wait for the exiting things to come to their life. Sadly when the times comes, they are not too interested or just do not know how to enjoy it to the fullest. These are the folks who just want life as either dry or exiting. They just do not know how to phase their life and enjoy it no matter what. There are two types of people within this group

Case 2.1: People who do not finish all the masala: These folks just do not care as much for the fun times as they are already brought down by the harsh reality of life. The dry periods in their life has left them with so much scars that they do not want to be really happy when the time is right. They just take only as much as they needed and end their life. A very sorry state indeed.

Case 2.2: People who finish all the masala with the little dosa they have: These are the folks who just are the extremes. They just go all out in life. No matter it is dark or bright. They may not enjoy life to the fullest but they sure make sure that they get every single good and bad thing out of life. Sometimes these folks are really hard to get along with. They are either your best friends or your worst enemies. They do not have a middle path at all.

Case 3: People who start from the middle and proceed to both ends: These are the people who like to get right to what they think is their best part of life. Usually these guys finish of the good portions in a hurry and get stuck with nothing but worst parts of their life. The thing to note among these people is that the tendency to burn out very early in their life. Like the above case, there are two kinds of people in this group too.

Case 3.1: People who do not finish the dosa: These folks are really the saddest of people. They are the ones who tend to end their life as soon as it hits the bad patch. For them, they only need and want the best things in life and nothing more. Typically, they are not prepared or tuned to life as a whole. They just want to enjoy from first till last. Sadly, no one in the world can live without even an ounce of sadness in life. Not even the richest of the richest. But to self destruct at the mere sign of distress is very bad. That is what these guys tend to do. Some learn to live life but most of them do not.

Case 3.1:People who do finish the dosa: These folks are the typical human beings. We all enjoy the greatest of times in life and push the sad parts thinking about the great times in life. Typically the plate is clean and nothing is left for fate or in life. Happiness and sadness are part of life and these guys know that and are kind of prepared for it. Life is not always happy but there are moments of happiness here and there.

Case 4: People who eat the dosa making sure that the masala lasts for the whole dosa: These people are very rare. These are the people who like to attain balance in their life. It is hard to displease these people and it is hard to make them really happy. They like their balance and are very protective of it. Sadly these are the people who tend to be lonely as anyone else may upset the balance of their system. Perfectionist to the core and are very careful. These guys do not make the best company but are needed in any group to make the group from going hay wire.

Case 5: People who do not share and eat the dosa as if it is precious: These folks are very protective about their life. They do not want anyone to come and interfere in their life. They like to hide their true nature and intensions for their benefit. Beware of such people as they are in every group for their own need and nothing else.

Case 6: People who offer their first bite to others: These guys are overly friendly. They do anything to be part of a group and make everyone feel like the group is important than the individuals. They are the glue that holds any group together. They are very friendly and bring the best of all the others in the group. They go out of their way to help other friends. Most groups should have a person like this and they are the ones who plan the group outings and other group activities. Once this person is out of the group, typically the group slowly falls apart.

Case 7: People who take one or two bites and then offer the dosa to others: These guys care about friends and friendship but they take their time to get into the group. They take their time in making friends and they typically are very committed once into the friendship. These guys like to always be in the side lines and typically do not jump into anything in life. They always take their time to analyze the situation and then make a decision. These guys take the better safe than sorry approach.

Case 8: People who wait for others to make the offer first.... Typical people I must say. They are unsure about everything. Even if they wanted to offer, they will wait till the other person offers the food first. If the other person is silent, so are these people. They are the followers. They do terrific idea, they will pitch it to someone else and get their advice before proceeding. Sadly, most of the elderly world like these types of people.

Case 9: People who offer dosa only when they cannot finish it on their own: You all may be familiar with these kinds of people. People who are very generous only when all their needs are fulfilled. These folks are selfish but at the same time not misers or greedy. They just want to satisfy themselves before they give it to the world. They typically do not stuff themselves nor do they tend to starve. They are very good people who would give you the best of advices in life. They would make sure that you are not sad following their advice.

Case 10: People who offer the whole dosa and eat from others plates: These folks are other extreme. They know what they want, they get what they want but they cannot enjoy what they want. Instead they tend to settle for other things in life which satisfies the needs but does not satisfy the person completely. These guys are termed as born losers cause even when they have the thing they wanted, they can't stop others from stealing it from them.

So next time you sit with a person eating a masala dosa, look closely and see if he falls into one of the above categories. You may be surprised as how much it reveals about the person.!

With inputs from my colleague Prof G R C Nair of IBS Kochi !

Oct 22, 2008

If only you know Hindi !!!

If you know Hindi just go on !!!!

This is when Amitabh Bachan got fit after his long illness..... one fine morning he told his drvier "Arre bhai aaj Gaadi hum chalayenge..".

Driver: "Par saab aapki tabyat?.."
Amitabh: "Aree meri tabyat thik ho gayi he, I am fit and fine...kya dance karke dikhau, dialogue, fighting kare dikhau.....Hain" Ok
then he starts driving the car very fast.... zoooooooooom breaks one red signal......... breaks second red signal.......... breaks on more red signal........... . . . . . .
Then a traffic hawaldar stops the car, tells the driver to move the car to the roadside.

Hawaldar: "Chalo licence dikhao, puc, gaadi ke kagjaaat..." Sees Amitabh and says, "are Amitabh Bachhan?!!!" he is verysuprised to see him....... Then he quickly on wireless calls his senior officers....

Hawaldar: "Sir, aap jaldi yaha aye naake par..."
Sir: "Kyun kya hua??"
Havaldar: "Sir ek gaadi ne signal toda he aur maine us gaadi ko side me rakha he"
Sir: "To phir?"
Hawaldar: "Sir, Us gaadi ka maalik bahut bada aadmi he sir .... mein uska challan nahi phaad sakta aap khud yaha aiye .."
Sir: "KON MAALIK HE US GAADI KA??" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
HAWALDAR : "WOH TO PATA NAHI SIR PAR USNE NE HE NA SIR ... AMITABH BACHHAN KO DRIVER RAKHA HAI....".:

Oct 17, 2008

Mere Paas Maa hain !

The Indian cinema is bigger than Hollywood and in spite of being a poor (developing we claim though!) nation, our cinema thrived and excelled to be where it is today (be it Bollywood, Kollywood or Mollywood). I have been astonished by its sheer magic and the spell with which it transmits energy to the otherwise lifeless throngs for whom life is mundane and so very predictable. A typical cinema house is a refuge for the mass where they throw away garbs and wear their real self.....

As a child I used to wonder when the news reel began and so did the mob howls, marvel why some people went out little knowing that, for them it was gap to take a smoke. I didn’t know why some felt pity at Gandhi who was been shown up there. The one old man who could neither sing nor dance with the over made heroine nor could fight with the over acting villains, was simply intolerable for them.....

The film was routine and in every one film the poor hero fell in love with the rich heroine. Ecstatic songs, dance, jokes and all the ingredients were carefully added in the making of the dish. The unfortunate hero in a car followed the heroine from Kashmir to Hong Kong and from Tokyo to Amsterdam…. Scary eyes and the ever in fumes cigar made the villain and he had a moustache which was curled up like a used bed and he laughed and fumed in regular intervals for no particular reason.....

The expected misunderstanding, regular sadness, volumes of tears and one tight slap that the hero pasted on the heroines rosy cheek while the audience was awed and while the women went poignant .The hero turning repentant and cutting his hands with a blade and the heroine near the window singing classical songs in melancholy and the lord Krishna statue throwing a rose into her head. The Villain who keeps eating cigar after cigar at some secretive bar where lights in all colours and hues kept flashing and voluptuous women danced in gold and silver half towels and funny looking apparels....

Some one will kill some one and the murder will be cast on (well no prizes for guessing) the hapless hero, and courts and the arguments… long shots… “Order order” the onscreen judges keep parroting but the film will go on in no particular order. Hero will meet the villain and will fight like kids do in every street and gali, from heaven to sea and from land to nowhere and the pitiable police coming in to climax the organized confusion with the megaphone and announcing “Pulis ne tumhe charon taraf se gher liya hain - apne aap ko kannon ke haawale kar do”… Agony ends and the duo in the car again, the songs again....

Some dialogues linger on like the Aur tera kya hoga kalia and Mere paas maa hain just to give a sample....

The mob keeps singing pyar pyar pyar or kathal kathal as they come out joyful and contended…

It do not touch anyone and do not even left a single scratch..

No pains. No excitement which left a hangover!!!…

A brief vacation from the hassles of life and a bridge to the struggles that is waiting with tomorrow.

The biggest service perhaps Indian cinema renders would be that it keeps the mass in its enchantment if otherwise would have found gratification in more treacherous preoccupations..

And that was an uphill task to be done…..!!

Oct 14, 2008

The BOSS !!!


A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present. The next day he went to the pet shop and saw three identical parrots in a cage. He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

The owner said it was Rs. 2500. "Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do?
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk. "He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."

The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,
but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot. The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000." Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.

The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything. But the other two call him "BOSS"!!