Laugh and start the week..!!

Sardar: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Why?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Why didn't u exchange?
Sardar: Oye! There was nobody to exchange in the lower berth.....

A Sardar went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C.
After seeing the Form he had gone to Delhi for filling it up.
You know why?......
Form said:
"Fill Up In Capital.".

Sardar had twins. He named them Tin& Martin.
Again had twins and named them Peter and Repeater.
Again twins and named them Max and Climax.
Again the same. Disgusted sardar named them Tired & Retired.

Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth.
Why?>Because his doctor advised him:
"Today's dinner should be light !"

Sardar and Family go to a party.
He introduces himself....."I Sardar, she Sardarnee, the boy my Kid and the girl my Kidney".

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
You know why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking.

Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor.
At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25th floor he remembers I'm unmarried!
At 10th floor he remembers I'm Banta not Santa!


On a romantic date sardars girl friend asks him:
"Darling ! On our engagement will you give me a ring?"
He said:"Sure ! What's your phone number?"

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever.
What will come first, chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote:"Due To Rain, No Match!"

What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Why can't sardars dial Nine-Eleven (911) at emergency?
They cannot find the eleven on the phone.

Sardar and his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar: Drink quickly.>Wife: Why?
Sardar: Hot coffee Rs 5 and cold coffee Rs 10

A Sardar and his wife filed an application for divorce.
Judge: How'll you divide? You have three children.
Sardar: Ok! We"ll apply next year.

Sardar at an Art Gallery : I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

Sardar news: A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says "Chin Yu Yan" and dies.
Sardar goes to China to find meaning of friends last words.
It is "You are standing on the oxygen tube!"

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
Wife: What you are doing?
Sardar: I am seeing how I look while sleeping

Hypocrisy & oops...=women....

Send to me by Ms Lalgem a woman and a former colleague


She does not get PMS,
she becomes hormonally homicidal.

She does not have a killer body,
she is terminally attractive.

She is not a bad cook,
she is microwave compatible.

She is not a bad driver,
she is automotively challenged.

She is not a Perfect 10,
she is numerically superior.

She is not easy,
she is horizontally accessible.

She does not hate sports on TV,
she is athletically biased.

She does not have sexy lips,
she is collagen dependent.

She does not get drunk,
she is accidentally over served orshe becomes verbally dyslexic.

You do not ask her to dance,
you request a precoital rhythmic experience.

She is not a gossip,
she is a verbal terminator.

She does not work out too much,
she is an abdominal overachiever.

She does not have a great butt,
she is gluteus to the maximus.

She is not hooked on soap operas,
she is melodramatically fixated.

She is not cold or frigid,
she is thermally incompatible.

She does not wear too much makeup,
she is cosmetically oversaturated.

She does not have great cleavage or a great rack,
her breasts are centrally located.

She does not have big hooters,
her cups runneth over.

She will never gain weight,
she will become a metabolic underachiever.

She is not a screamer or a moaner,
she is vocally appreciative.

She does not shave her legs,
she experiences temporary stubble reduction.

She does not have a hard body,
she is anatomically inflexible.

She does not sun bathe,
she experiences solar enhancement.

Her breasts will never sag,
they will lose their vertical hold.

She does not shop too much,
she is overly susceptible to marketing ploys.

She does not cut you off,
she becomes horizontally inaccessible.

She does not have big hair,
she is overly aerosoled.

She does not snore,
she is nasally repetitive.

She is not too skinny,
she is skeletally prominent.

confusing proverbs..!!!

All good things come to those who wait.	BUT	Time and tide wait for no man.
The pen is mightier than the sword.	BUT	Actions speak louder than words.
Wise men think alike.	BUT	Fools seldom differ.
The best things in life are free .	BUT	There's no such thing as a free lunch .
Slow and steady wins the race .	BUT	Time waits for no man .
Look before you leap .	BUT	Strike while the iron is hot .
Do it well, or not at all.	BUT	Half a loaf is better than none.
Birds of a feather flock together.	BUT	Opposites attract.
Don't cross your bridges before you come to them.	BUT	Forewarned is forearmed.
Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.	BUT	Faith will move mountains.
Great starts make great finishes.	BUT	It isn �t over 'till it's over.
Practice makes perfect.	BUT	All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Silence is golden.	BUT	The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
You're never too old to learn.	BUT	You can't teach an old dog new tricks
What's good for the goose is good for the gander.	BUT	One man's meat is another man's poison.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.	BUT	Out of sight, out of mind.
Too many cooks spoil the broth.	BUT	Many hands make light work.
Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.	BUT	Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them.

Survival of the LICKiest...

No insults meant to anyone....any similiarity perceived by anyone is at their own risk and is purely coincidental and unintentional.....